


Eternities Without You

by DirtyBrian



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, aaaaaangst, injury tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:45:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyBrian/pseuds/DirtyBrian
Summary: When Rose is injured on one of their adventures, the Doctor takes vigil by her bedside.





	

As a Time Lord, the Doctor has an acute sense of how many minutes in a day, how many days in a year...he can tell you how many minutes there had been between the Challenger takeoff and the fatal explosion. He can tell you, down to the exact number of seconds, how long it had taken Earth’s first faster-than-light-capable vessels to reach the next galaxy. He can even tell you, though he would fight against the memory, how long it had taken for his home planet to be ripped apart.

 

Yes, he was excellent at marking and recognizing the passage of time. Which made it strange, then, when he realized that he couldn’t tell how long it had been since Rose Tyler had smiled at him.

 

_ Four days, seven hours, twenty-three minutes, and forty-seven seconds. _

 

Oh, he was acutely aware of how much time had passed. His system recognized that unconsciously, it was a factor of his biology. He didn’t believe it, though. Couldn’t believe it had been barely over four days. He’d swear on everything he knew that he hadn’t seen Rose’s grin for decades. Centuries.

 

She looked so small, so damned frail lying on the bed. Her skin was bloodless, and the respirator was the only thing keeping her breathing. It was a miracle she was alive at all- her wounds had been more severe than she should have been able to withstand. He shuddered, mind momentarily overwhelmed with images of her broken, bloody body, of carrying her lifeless form into the TARDIS. Of pleading with her to stay alive, to stay with him. The memory would haunt him until his dying day.

 

“Rose,” he whispered shakily, leaning against the edge of the diagnostic table. She didn’t move, didn’t respond in any way. She hadn’t for many days now.

 

_ Four days, seven hours, forty-one minutes, and sixteen seconds. _

 

“Come back, Rose.” He gripped the edge of the bed, the sharp corners digging into his skin, nearly drawing blood. “Please. I...I need you.” His voice was barely over a whisper; he could barely say the words to himself, let alone admit them at a time when she’d hear. Oh, how he hated himself for that.

 

“Please forgive me.” He had so much to apologize for, so many ways that she’d been hurt because of him. She didn’t deserve this life, and he didn’t deserve to have her in his. The guilt was crushing him. She was lying in the infirmary dyi--in a coma (he couldn’t even think the words), and he couldn’t even risk moving the TARDIS so he could take her to Jackie. He was powerless.

 

“I’m so sorry, Rose. For everything. I’m...so selfish, really.” His voice was louder now, and his tone was tinged with bitterness. “I kept you with me, I kept you on that planet knowing the danger. I didn’t want to be alone, you see. And I was willing to risk your safety. And now you’re here, and I need for you to come back...please.” A tear trickled down his cheek, and he swiped at it angrily. He didn’t deserve to cry over this. It was his fault.

 

He sat down heavily in the small stool next to the bed, automatically reaching for her hand and twining their fingers together. Her skin was almost as cool as his, and she didn’t squeeze his hand back. The reality of what was happening beat against him, tearing him apart- she might never wake up.

 

What if he never held her hand again?

 

_ Four days,  eight hours, two minutes, and fifty eight seconds.  _


End file.
